Dog thoughts on school closure days

dog15Contrary to popular belief, we dogs are not trying to make you humans miserable. Got it? We are dogs, so we do things that come naturally… to dogs.

So, when you have a school closing day due to cold or snow, things get a little hairy. Dogs are home. Kids are home. Other moms appear with their home bound kids, there is cabin fever pouring out of every pore of everyone, and the stuff they call “mommy juice” appears out of nowhere. (no idea what’s in the stuff, but it seems to be a magic potion that makes the mom chill out). Regardless, it’s anarchy.

It seems that you are not sure what to expect from us in these trying times. Here’s a list that might give you a heads up:

1. We will whine to go out. Then when we get out, we’ll whine to get in while holding a paw up in frozen misery. Plan for this to repeat often throughout the day.

2. While we are out, we just might eat snow as if we are a Hoover vacuum. Be aware we’ll have to pee much sooner, thus the repetition of above.

3. When the guest moms and kids come over, we might pee a little in excitement of their arrival. (Maybe because our bladder is full from snow earlier ingested) We probably will act like we don’t realize that we have peed. We might actually not even know we did.


4. With this many kids’ eating at once, you can bet your bottom dollar that we will wait at the kids’ feet for their predictable droppings. Warning: if you feed them chocolate, we will probably eat the chocolate. Vomiting (or a trip to the emergency room) may or may not occur later. But we are just being dogs, so you can’t be mad.

5. When you try to put booties on to take us outside, we will hold up each paw as a bootie goes on and refuse to put it down. You can only really get two booties on this way sadly. However, we know that you will wrestle get all four on, and we, in turn, will walk like Frankenstein by shaking each paw in an effort to shake them off OR, we may just simply refuse to move. When you rip them off in a fury of frustration and take us out without them, we will undoubtedly, alternate holding each frozen paw up and limp in certain misery.

6. Most importantly, with all the chaos going on, we will probably be incredibly underfoot to get closer to you in an attempt to make sure you have everything under control, which over time, I’m getting the idea, that you do not.

I hope this prepares you in the event of another “snow/cold day” from school. They say that being prepared is half the battle. See? I’m here for you.

Do you all feel me? Did I forget something? Let me know. (in your nicest comment voice please – don’t make me chew on a table leg to self-soothe!)