Dog’s 2015 New Year’s Resolutions

As humans have finally gone back to school and work

– and then stay home again for cold weather (for the love of dog) – and then go back again –

I have had time to “paws” and reflect (heh, heh, get it? I love dog humor!) on my┬áNew Year’s Resolutions.

So, here they are for 2015, in no particular order:

  • I will increase my Jedi force to get to sleep on the bed more.
  • More Jedi mind tricks for food from the kitchen
  • I will stop chewing and eating inedible items when my peeps are gone (starting now – not counting the army men from yesterday that I threw up in the middle of the night – please, punishment enough)
  • I will stop dragging my ears in my food. (I need a hair net)
  • I will stop licking my junk.
  • I will use my nose powers for good, not for the trash.
  • I will stop eating toilet paper (I tried giving it up for lent with no success)
  • I will not growl when the little one comes by my bone.
  • I will stop excitement peeing.

Wait… just to be clear, New Year’s Resolutions are things that you have no intention of holding on to, right?

If not, I need to revise this list. I’m a dog after all.